President Barack Obama will this Wednesday embark on a week-long trip to Africa, estimated to cost American taxpayers a whooping $100 million. Normally for a trip to Senegal, South Africa and Tanzania, a President should pack a huge suitcase filled with a week’s worth of clothing and accessories. But since Obama’s trip has been criticised by Americans who feel its damn extravagant, we urge the President to show frugality in his safari by packing light.
The following is a comprehensive list of things Obama should pack:
1. Neutral colored clothes. Packing neutral colors like khaki will ensure Obama is safe from dangerous African animals and deadly bugs. Bright coloured clothes attract animals during game safaris, and dark colored clothes are known to attract bugs.
2. Insect repellent. We know Obama is so talented when it comes to swatting houseflies, but he may not achieve much trying to swat mosquitoes in Tanzania. We therefore recommend a medium size bottle of strong insect repellent.
3. Socks and underwear. Visiting three countries in one week is a herculean task. The President will have no time waiting for laundry, and so he should pack enough socks and underwear for the whole trip.
4. Sunscreen. The African sun can be so strong, even under the roof of the President’s limousine. A high-SPF sunscreen is therefore highly recommended.
5. Khaki pants. These will be helpful especially if Mr President will feel the urge to go hiking in Ngorongoro Crater or taking a game drive in the world-famous Serengeti National Park.
6. Hiking boots. These will ensure the President is comfortable during his walking safaris in Senegal. And did I say they hide the dust pretty well?
7. A wide-brimmed hat. If Obama hates using sunscreen, he can use a wide hat to protect himself from the scotching sun.
8. Camera. I’m sure the President would love to take some photos of himself in Cape Town. He should therefore carry a good camera, and some extra camera batteries as well.
9. Binoculars. He should carry a pair of binoculars to see wildebeests rehearsing for the Great Wildebeest Migration – several miles away, or to catch a glimpse of lions mating in the Serengeti. We recommend binoculars with 12x magnification.
10. Malaria pills. We don’t wish the President ill-health, but he can never be too careful in Africa.
11. Yellow Fever Certificate. We hope he’s already vaccinated against Yellow Fever. He should not forget to bring his vaccination certificate with him. The certificate becomes valid ten days after vaccination, and stays valid for ten years.
12. Passport and Visa. A passport and visa are mandatory for Americans visiting most African countries.